Total Posts:  54
Joined  22-11-2005
20 February 2006 08:28

Here's a funny site I came across today:


Catch up with the doings of all your favourite gods in one convenient location!

Check out the entry for Baal:

BAAL: God of War known as the Cloud Monster.

From humble beginnings as the Storm God HADAD, he grew to occupy top position in the Canaanite pantheon, taking charge of War and Heroic Action Adventure.

His consort is ASTARTE, the Goddess of Fertility and Sexuality. She's also his sister, but Gods don't worry about that kind of thing.

BAAL enjoyed top spot in the Middle-East pantheon and was worshipped far and wide. But his reputation was irreversably damaged when Jewish leaders took exception to his sneaky cult of sacred prostitution in Palestine. They littered the Bible with anti-BAAL messages and took to calling him BEELZEBUB. And so he became universally hated.

Such is the power of the press. And now you know who to blame for everything from Ice Ages to Global Warming.

Sorry, but I've laughed about 5 times now flicking through these gods. Here's another one and then I'll leave you alone…

AHURA-MAZDA: The bright and beautiful Zoroastrian Supreme God. He is so bright that a certain brand of electric light bulb is named in his honor.

As The Wise Lord and God above all other Gods, AHURA-MAZDA was - and still is - worshipped by Zoroastrians as the Creator of the Universe and Source of All Good Things. With the light bulb reference seeming so appropriate, we fondly imagine he created the Universe by flipping a cosmic light switch. 'Let there be light', in fact.

With the holy AMESHA-SPENTAS and also his sons ATAR and MITHRA providing backup, AHURA-MAZDA wages permanent war with AHRIMAN, a deity of unspeakable repulsiveness. AHRIMAN aims to devastate the universe by filling it with pure evil.

Much like GOD and SATAN, they've been battling it out for millennia, but AHURA-MAZDA has a trump card tucked up his sleeve; SAOSHYANT will show up at the last minute and put everything to rights.

Zoroastrianism was founded by Zoroaster (also known as Zarathushtra) squillions of years ago, and flourished despite being such an awkward religion to spell. Its sacred scripture, the Vesta, unfortunately perished in the Great Fire at the Library of Alexandra, and only a remnant of this fascinating text remains. This is called the Zenda Vesta, which means 'Scrap of Vesta Which Is Somewhat Charred But Still Jolly Good'.

With its monotheistic concept of GOD and ideas of good and evil spirituality, Zoroastrianism had a huge impact on subsequent religions such as Judaism and Christianity, who appear to have stolen many of its spiritual notions…

I needed a good laugh!