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Buddhist Chicken Jokes

 
hannahtoo
 
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hannahtoo
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04 November 2014 22:16
 
Mr Wayne - 02 November 2014 12:30 AM

A chicken goes into a library and says, “Bok,” so the librarian gives it a book.
Ten minutes later the same chicken comes in again and says, “Bok bok.”
The librarian gives the chicken two books, but being a bit curious, follows the chicken down the road where the chicken meets a frog.
The frog says to the chicken, “Redit, redit!”

http://www.jokes.net/shortchickenjokes2.htm

I thought the first joke in the link was funny too.

 
LadyJane
 
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LadyJane
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05 November 2014 11:57
 

Why did the chicken cross the Himalayas?

To meditate in the presence of the Dalai Lama’s cock.

 
 
Dennis Campbell
 
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Dennis Campbell
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05 November 2014 12:31
 
LadyJane - 05 November 2014 10:57 AM

Why did the chicken cross the Himalayas?

To meditate in the presence of the Dalai Lama’s cock.

Good one!

 
 
cunjevoi
 
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cunjevoi
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09 November 2014 00:27
 
Dennis Campbell - 05 November 2014 11:31 AM
LadyJane - 05 November 2014 10:57 AM

Why did the chicken cross the Himalayas?

To meditate in the presence of the Dalai Lama’s cock.

Good one!

Bahaha! Can’t top that but will follow on anyway.

Why did the Dalai Lama’s cock cross the Himalaya?

To get to the other ride
To meditate in a sacred cave
To alleviate suffering
Because it was there
Summit to do
Because it was hard

...and many more!

 
Mr Wayne
 
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Mr Wayne
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09 November 2014 00:50
 

Quote:

“Q: Whats the difference between meat and chicken?
A: If you beat your chicken it dies. “

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/chickenjokes.html

 
 
unsmoked
 
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unsmoked
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10 November 2014 15:53
 

According to Mick Stevens in the Oct. 20 New Yorker:

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EN
 
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EN
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10 November 2014 17:10
 
unsmoked - 10 November 2014 02:53 PM

According to Mick Stevens in the Oct. 20 New Yorker:

That’s a pretty good reason to cross the road.  And he does look like he is meditating, in a very peaceful and contemplative state, about that martini. He’s in full Zen mode there.

 
Nhoj Morley
 
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Nhoj Morley
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14 November 2014 15:51
 

Two monks overheard at a gas station:


“I have just finished my year of silence contemplating the Great Cosmological Joke.”

“You mean “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“That’s the one. I have only just recovered from a week of laughing myself to exhaustion.”

“Sounds like you got it. Is there anything you don’t understand?”

“Just one thing: why does everyone insist on giving it a punchline?”

 
 
Jb8989
 
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Jb8989
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14 November 2014 18:13
 

The chicken seems anxious to me. I’d rather come back as a cat, or maybe a tree.

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samyag-drsti
 
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samyag-drsti
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14 November 2014 21:57
 

“Here’s another question I have. How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelet?
Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen, that we passed chickens in goodness.

Name 6 ways we’re better than chickens.

See, nobody can do it! You know why? ‘Cause chickens are decent people.

You don’t see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? No, you don’t see a chicken strapping some guy into a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery, do you? When’s the last chicken you heard about come home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh? Doesn’t happen, ’cause chickens are decent people.” -George Carlin

 
unsmoked
 
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unsmoked
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15 November 2014 14:55
 
cunjevoi - 08 November 2014 11:27 PM

Because it was there

Q:  Why did the chicken cross the road?

A:  Because it was there.

(This one is going to be hard to beat).

 
 
GAD
 
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GAD
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15 November 2014 16:32
 

I’ll be the judge.

So far the winner is Martin’s Chicken PoEtry Reading

 
 
Nhoj Morley
 
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Nhoj Morley
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16 November 2014 14:47
 
GAD - 15 November 2014 03:32 PM

I’ll be the judge.

Then we are in good hands, indeed.

Winning contestants will receive this prized custom T-shirt.
And, glossy black elastic chicken-chokers for the runners-up.

Good luck to all!

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unsmoked
 
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unsmoked
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16 November 2014 14:59
 
Nhoj Morley - 16 November 2014 01:47 PM
GAD - 15 November 2014 03:32 PM

I’ll be the judge.

Then we are in good hands, indeed.

Winning contestants will receive this prized custom T-shirt.
And, glossy black elastic chicken-chokers for the runners-up.

Good luck to all!

If Mick wins (post #21) and can’t make it to the awards ceremony, I’ll accept the T-shirt for him.  Can the Academy veto GAD’s decision?

Wait, is this one too late?

Q:  Why did the chicken cross the road?

A:  Because he didn’t realize that he was already across.

 
 
MARTIN_UK
 
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MARTIN_UK
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17 November 2014 10:26
 
GAD - 15 November 2014 03:32 PM

I’ll be the judge.

So far the winner is Martin’s Chicken PoEtry Reading

Ah!.. thanks man, I could do with the cash.

Take £1000 for yourself then put the rest into my South American account, the one we set up to launder Nazi gold… cheers! wink

 
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