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The Klein Bottle

 
Jan_CAN
 
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Jan_CAN
Total Posts:  2519
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03 August 2018 17:48
 

Did you hear the one about the world’s funniest joke?


- A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
- The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’
- The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: ‘Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’
- There is a silence; then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: ‘Okay, now what?’


- A Texan says, ‘Where you from?’ to a Harvard grad.
- The Harvard grad says, ‘I come from a place where you don’t end your sentences with prepositions.’
- So the Texan says, ‘Okay. Where you from, jackass?’

 
 
Cheshire Cat
 
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Cheshire Cat
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08 August 2018 11:54
 

“Americans and Canadians preferred jokes invoking a strong sense of superiority, either because a character looks stupid or is made to look stupid.”

With this in mind, let’s see if this joke hits the spot:

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth, and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.”

The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his genitals, unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and he receives the first of his free drinks.

The man stands up again and makes another offer: “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”

A hush falls over the crowd. A moment later, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.

“I’ll try,” says a small woman, “but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

 
 
icehorse
 
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icehorse
Total Posts:  6777
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09 August 2018 12:44
 
burt - 09 August 2018 12:22 PM

Sea lioning.

I’ve seen you make this accusation before, and I’ve looked into it. Can you give me your definition of sea lioning? And then (he asks, being aware of the irony here), can you cite an example or two of this sea lioning behavior?

[ Edited: 09 August 2018 12:47 by icehorse]
 
 
hannahtoo
 
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hannahtoo
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10 August 2018 07:10
 

Ice:
First off, do you agree with the idea that immigration is a privilege not a right?
And do you agree that host countries have no obligation to allow immigration?
And would you agree that FGM is highly correlated with certain cultures and a certain religion?
So then do you think it’s reasonable for a country’s immigration department to be extra cautious when reviewing candidates from those cultures?

1.  Yes
2.  No.  We have a moral obligation to help others.  Read the poem at the base of the Statue of Liberty.  This used to be an expression of the American outlook toward the world.  Now our government condemns Syrian and Russian bombings but denies entry of the refugees fleeing the conflict.  I don’t know exactly where to draw the line on immigration.  The world is approaching 9 billion souls.  This is a new normal.  In the short term, every country will need to accept more refugees. In the long term, hopefully conditions in their homelands will improve.

Since you are focusing on Muslim refugees, let’s get the facts.  Most Syrians displaced by the violence stay inside Syria, but move to different regions.  Here is info from http://theconversation.com/where-have-4-8-million-syrian-refugees-gone-57968:

Reaching the shores of Europe is not a goal for most. Only about 13.5 percent of the refugees have attempted the difficult and sometimes deadly journey to European Union countries. Fewer than 0.5 percent of the total number of Syrians who have fled their homeland have landed in the U.S. The majority have found a place to stay in Jordan, Lebanon and Turkey as they wait for the violence to end at home.

3.  Yes.  And immigrants should be made aware of American laws in that regard.  I’m not sure whether there is any sort of immigrant education program in the US.  If not, there should be.  Of course, this would be part of a more sensible legal immigration policy.

4.  No.  I think all cultures should be made aware of US laws and customs.  As a comparison, I was required to sit through a many info sessions on sexual harassment, religious expression, etc. when I was a teacher.  Every employee was.  It wasn’t dependent on interviews to discover our individual opinions or on sub-group profiling.

 
icehorse
 
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icehorse
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10 August 2018 07:31
 

hannah:

2.  No.  We have a moral obligation to help others.  Read the poem at the base of the Statue of Liberty.  This used to be an expression of the American outlook toward the world.  Now our government condemns Syrian and Russian bombings but denies entry of the refugees fleeing the conflict.  I don’t know exactly where to draw the line on immigration.  The world is approaching 9 billion souls.  This is a new normal.  In the short term, every country will need to accept more refugees. In the long term, hopefully conditions in their homelands will improve.

I was talking about immigration. I don’t think we should conflate immigrants and refugees. But I will switch to refugees for a moment: If we’re REALLY motivated to help refugees, then the symbolic gesture of shipping a tiny percentage of them across the world is a hollow gesture. If we REALLY want to help - and I agree that we should - then we have to primarily help them in place.

hannah:

4.  No.  I think all cultures should be made aware of US laws and customs.  As a comparison, I was required to sit through a many info sessions on sexual harassment, religious expression, etc. when I was a teacher.  Every employee was.  It wasn’t dependent on interviews to discover our individual opinions or on sub-group profiling.

Applying to immigrate should be like applying for a job. The host country - ANY host country - should be looking for people whi will enrich the host country. As “employers”, the immigration department should use common sense and scrutinize high risk applicants more closely than non-high-risk applicants.

 
 
brazen4
 
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brazen4
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10 August 2018 08:08
 

This is one anecdotal interaction I had with an acquaintance of mine: This person lived in low-income housing with his wife and one small child. It is an area that has been suggested as a probable neighborhood to place Muslim refugees. From his perspective he felt as though wealthier people in his gov’t were saying to him “You are about to get some new neighbors. We want you to be welcoming to them. We will be over here in our gated communities and various other up-scale neighborhoods keeping an eye on you and you better not show any bigotry or racism.

 
Celal
 
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Celal
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10 August 2018 10:56
 
hannahtoo - 10 August 2018 07:10 AM


2.  No.  We have a moral obligation to help others.  Read the poem at the base of the Statue of Liberty.  This used to be an expression of the American outlook toward the world.  Now our government condemns Syrian and Russian bombings but denies entry of the refugees fleeing the conflict.  I don’t know exactly where to draw the line on immigration. ...

Let me help you where you should draw the line ...

Ref The Statue of Liberty Quote you brought up…

It does NOT say, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to replicate their home countries’ values.

 
LadyJane
 
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LadyJane
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17 August 2018 06:23
 

If you can’t decide whether to wear your ostrich jacket or your snake skin jacket…it’s on account’a yer white privilege.

[ Edited: 17 August 2018 06:58 by LadyJane]
 
 
LadyJane
 
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LadyJane
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17 August 2018 06:48
 

If you go out in public wearing a Polo Shirt, Dockers and Deck Shoes and don’t get your arse kicked…it’s on account’a yer white privilege.

 
 
LadyJane
 
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LadyJane
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17 August 2018 06:50
 

If you drink Fanta while listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd…it’s on account’a yer white privilege.

 
 
LadyJane
 
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LadyJane
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17 August 2018 06:57
 

If you correct other people’s grammar and laugh at jokes you don’t understand…it’s on account’a yer white privilege.

 
 
LadyJane
 
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LadyJane
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17 August 2018 07:00
 

If you know what ecru means…it’s on account’a yer white privilege.

 
 
LadyJane
 
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LadyJane
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17 August 2018 07:02
 

If you were born in Germany but tell everyone you’re from Austria…it’s on account’a yer white privilege.

 
 
Jan_CAN
 
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Jan_CAN
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17 August 2018 07:04
 
LadyJane - 17 August 2018 07:00 AM

If you know what ecru means…it’s on account’a yer white privilege.

Haha, that one hurt ... I know what ecru means (without looking it up).

 
 
LadyJane
 
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LadyJane
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17 August 2018 07:06
 

If you own a pair of Crocs and drink light beer…it’s on account’a yer white privilege.

 
 
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