1 2 3 >  Last ›
 
   
 

I may have inadvertently joined a cult

 
Jb8989
 
Avatar
 
 
Jb8989
Total Posts:  6055
Joined  31-01-2012
 
 
 
15 December 2016 09:53
 

Okay so I live in a city with one of the best colleges in the world. Moving on from that point because I don’t have too much interaction with their community outside of some contractual work that I do with them. Otherwise, whatever. Well, a new yoga studio opened up. And I do yoga so I tried it out. I bought a card and started exhausting all the classes that I paid for. After about three classes I realized that this place talks a ton about devotion, subscription, higher powers, faith, and faith-based reliance. They talk about it not in the traditional yoga sense and especially not in the way that I like to do yoga, which is mixed with secular mindfulness but otherwise just a good workout with a little bit of meditation. Anyway, I’m increasingly finding myself in deep poses only to hear some religious-type shit about faith and higher powers. The issue is that the instructors, besides being dogmatic weirdos, are phenomenal teachers. Their pose prompts are amazing and their knowledge on the body is unreal. It might be the best yoga that I’ve ever done. So I go back and I don’t chant, cheer, or otherwise take part in any lines of their thinking. I don’t bow or agree when stuff gets muddy. And everyone notices. I’m basically a pariah who nobody wants around. I’ve been hoping that more secular or even whatever-type people started showing up, but as it turns out the demographic seems to be stuck on students and teachers from that university I was telling you about. So to boot, they’re probably also otherwise really intelligent people. They’re basically intelligent nutjobs, who really don’t want me in their cult. But I ain’t going nowhere. Any funny suggestions?

 
 
LadyJane
 
Avatar
 
 
LadyJane
Total Posts:  2942
Joined  26-03-2013
 
 
 
15 December 2016 11:00
 

Try not to pull your vagina.

 
 
GAD
 
Avatar
 
 
GAD
Total Posts:  16553
Joined  15-02-2008
 
 
 
15 December 2016 11:12
 
LadyJane - 15 December 2016 11:00 AM

Try not to pull your vagina.

I think more importantly, don’t grab any of theirs (unless you are famous).

 
 
Jan_CAN
 
Avatar
 
 
Jan_CAN
Total Posts:  2393
Joined  21-10-2016
 
 
 
15 December 2016 11:12
 

Start ‘signing’ so they’ll think your deaf.  Not only won’t you have to participate, but you can make any who have been stand-offish feel guilty.

 
 
GAD
 
Avatar
 
 
GAD
Total Posts:  16553
Joined  15-02-2008
 
 
 
15 December 2016 11:17
 

Whenever they start talking shit make fart noises, everyone loves good fart noises.

 
 
sojourner
 
Avatar
 
 
sojourner
Total Posts:  5970
Joined  09-11-2012
 
 
 
15 December 2016 11:50
 

I am not familiar with your area, but so far as I know the following are socially permissible ways of irritating everyone in your yoga class:


- Wear some manner of clothing that makes everyone uncomfortable and imply you are being robbed of your authentic yogi self-expression by uptight, enculturated people if anyone implies that lycra leggings with no underwear make your crow pose distracting for the whole class.


- Sigh loudly and correct anyone who doesn’t name the poses in sanskrit.


- Find the most obscure variation of a pose you can, claim it is your lifelong goal to achieve it, and ask the teacher to stop and assist you with it for about 20 minutes while everyone else is still holding the standard down dog split pose with increasingly shaky arms and swearing at you under their breath while trying to look unfazed as if their arms have not long ago turned to Jell-o.


- Come in 3 minutes late and awkwardly squash your mat between mats that are already neatly spaced, forcing everyone to do ‘cactus’ arms for all the poses that are supposed to involve outstretched arms (I actually totally do this, btw. I admit it. I am That Person. I kinda suck, apologies to any members of my former yoga class.)


Seriously, though, I’d say if it’s harmless, why sweat it? You’re there for yoga, not a worldview. If it’s to the level where you feel uncomfortable about the actual character of the type of people you’re involved with, even for yoga, then I say get out of there no matter how good the yoga is.

[ Edited: 15 December 2016 12:03 by sojourner]
 
 
Cheshire Cat
 
Avatar
 
 
Cheshire Cat
Total Posts:  1002
Joined  01-11-2014
 
 
 
15 December 2016 13:54
 

Try bringing donuts and beer before class begins. This will ingratiate you with the other students and instructors.

Who doesn’t like donuts and beer?

 
 
hannahtoo
 
Avatar
 
 
hannahtoo
Total Posts:  6769
Joined  15-05-2009
 
 
 
15 December 2016 14:00
 

Face it, most of us here feel like outsiders a lot.  Maybe you could look at it like a cross-cultural experience—like you’re visiting a foreign country.

 
GAD
 
Avatar
 
 
GAD
Total Posts:  16553
Joined  15-02-2008
 
 
 
15 December 2016 14:04
 
Sarcastic Fringehead - 15 December 2016 01:54 PM

Try bringing donuts and beer before class begins. This will ingratiate you with the other students and instructors.

Who doesn’t like donuts and beer?

In fact bring them everyday until they are too fat to do yoga, then you win!

 
 
jdrnd
 
Avatar
 
 
jdrnd
Total Posts:  5899
Joined  25-08-2009
 
 
 
15 December 2016 14:21
 
GAD - 15 December 2016 11:17 AM

...everyone loves good fart noises.

Excellent point!

 
jdrnd
 
Avatar
 
 
jdrnd
Total Posts:  5899
Joined  25-08-2009
 
 
 
15 December 2016 14:38
 
Jb8989 - 15 December 2016 09:53 AM

I don’t bow or agree when stuff gets muddy.

For about a decade I was studying Uechi-Ryu Karate (Okinowan).  It has shades of Shintoism in its teachings. 
You have to kneel and bow and other things.  The style was brought to the US by person who served in the US military on Okinowa. 
He was/is just an ordinary American.  I met him, and he is a secular type.  He wrote a book about the style from a teachers point of view. 
He points out that the student doesn’t have to buy into the “Shinto” stuff (not his words).  They just have to follow the rules of the dojo. 
I looked at the bowing and kneeling as a ritual.  I learned to Keeah (the cry of spirit), I learned the various ceremonies.
I am about as anti spiritual as you can get; it didn’t bother me. I learned Karate and all the things that go along with it.
The teachers at this Dojo are fantastic

Just follow the rules.

Alternatively, you can become hyper spiritual, to the point of putting them to shame for not being spiritual enough.

 
LadyJane
 
Avatar
 
 
LadyJane
Total Posts:  2942
Joined  26-03-2013
 
 
 
15 December 2016 15:07
 

I think I’d be less concerned about the cult like aspect of the endeavour and more concerned about the sort of lifestyle that would be so compelling as to unabashedly declare belonging to such a group of yuppie douchebags farting their way through the pretentious yoga classes they attend.

 
 
Jb8989
 
Avatar
 
 
Jb8989
Total Posts:  6055
Joined  31-01-2012
 
 
 
15 December 2016 15:42
 

Surprisingly, it’s actually been a pretty funny thing in my life. Something’s actually going one where I’m okay about not fitting in with this particular group. Normally I’d avoid super non-like-minded groups, but I’m a little tickled pink by their ridiculous judgement. Maybe it’s the setting. I mean, it helps to be slightly narcissistic and actually enjoy that I fluster them. But I don’t thinks that’s it this time. Mainly I just love the teachers. Honestly, GAD, if I could fart on command I totally would. I’m not sure that I want to go full-blown 6th grade fart noise on them. Good idea nonetheless. I’lI definitely kick it around. I’m afraid that I can’t start signing now because they might already be on to my hearing ability LOL. And there’s no way I’m wasting beer and donuts on these nutjobs. Hannah, can I pretend that I’m at the zoo and that they’re weird-looking animals?

 
 
hannahtoo
 
Avatar
 
 
hannahtoo
Total Posts:  6769
Joined  15-05-2009
 
 
 
15 December 2016 16:07
 

My son went to a silent meditation retreat for a week at a Buddhist-type place.  One of his friends went along too.  He said that one day everyone was sitting in meditation, and both young men noticed a really cute girl was sitting nearby.  Somehow, they had a silent conversation recognizing that both of them were attracted to her.  And they had a silent discussion about who would get to ask her out.  My son won.  All this while sitting in meditation.  I wish I’d been there to see it.

 
Jb8989
 
Avatar
 
 
Jb8989
Total Posts:  6055
Joined  31-01-2012
 
 
 
16 December 2016 04:26
 
hannahtoo - 15 December 2016 04:07 PM

My son went to a silent meditation retreat for a week at a Buddhist-type place.  One of his friends went along too.  He said that one day everyone was sitting in meditation, and both young men noticed a really cute girl was sitting nearby.  Somehow, they had a silent conversation recognizing that both of them were attracted to her.  And they had a silent discussion about who would get to ask her out.  My son won.  All this while sitting in meditation.  I wish I’d been there to see it.

Awesome.

 
 
Jb8989
 
Avatar
 
 
Jb8989
Total Posts:  6055
Joined  31-01-2012
 
 
 
16 December 2016 04:31
 
LadyJane - 15 December 2016 03:07 PM

I think I’d be less concerned about the cult like aspect of the endeavour and more concerned about the sort of lifestyle that would be so compelling as to unabashedly declare belonging to such a group of yuppie douchebags farting their way through the pretentious yoga classes they attend.

?

But if you’re talking about me then you should know that there’s no place someone this handsome doesn’t belong.

 
 
 1 2 3 >  Last ›