My name is David, and I live in New Zealand. 

 
David T
 
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David T
Total Posts:  2
Joined  04-07-2017
 
 
 
04 July 2017 18:42
 

Hello. 
Not sure what to say here, but I came across Waking Up a couple of months ago, and at that time I had been out of work since late last year, the relationship I had with my wife and children was strained, I was depressed and drinking too much.  Oh, and I was overweight and the least fit I can remember being.

Even though I have 4 degrees, including a Master’s, I felt stupid.
Even though I can rebuild an engine, build decking and do landscaping; or develop a stakeholder engagement plan for a complex NGO, sell motorcycles and cook a curry etc; I felt useless,
Even though I’m a father, a brother, a husband and a friend; I felt unwanted.

When you’re in that state, it’s bloody difficult to make the changes that will take you back to normal, and found that even reading was hard work, so I started listening to podcasts, and along the way found Waking Up. I felt like I was listening to someone who not only made sense, but made sense to me personally, and when he talked about mindfulness and meditation, it no longer felt like something I “should do” (like ride a bicycle or eat vegan food), but that I was getting good advice.

And it has been.

[ Edited: 04 July 2017 19:09 by David T]
 
Nhoj Morley
 
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Nhoj Morley
Total Posts:  6975
Joined  22-02-2005
 
 
 
04 July 2017 20:04
 

Welcome, Mr. T.

Your tale is not unusual. We’re here to help. Kind of.

 
 
David T
 
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David T
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Joined  04-07-2017
 
 
 
04 July 2017 21:11
 

I had a feeling my story wouldn’t be unusual. A major part of getting my life back on track has been quitting alcohol, and while I wasn’t sure I was an alcoholic, I started going to AA meetings, and when I was told that the only way I could be sober was if I asked God to help me, I was buggered. I came to the conclusion that I would be better off asking Donald Trump to help me, because at least he exists, and when I was asked to think of a higher power, all I could think of was the Inland Revenue Department.

I bought a copy of their bible, the Big Book, but it’s being used as a paperweight because Sam’s book Waking Up actually makes sense and helps me solve my problems.

 
Jan_CAN
 
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Jan_CAN
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Joined  21-10-2016
 
 
 
05 July 2017 05:45
 

Hello David T,

It sounds like you have a sense of humour, which is a helpful and good thing, IMO.

AA may or may not be right for you.  I have a family member who regularly attends AA meetings and is not altogether comfortable with the ‘higher power’ aspect of AA.  He chooses to ignore this aspect of the program and focus on what does work for many – the way in which alcoholics can understand each other, and the philosophy that helping others can help yourself.  He has found a group that does not put a lot of emphasis on ‘higher power’; often these small groups vary somewhat in their emphasis depending on the particular membership of that group.  Also, in my community (in Canada), a new secular AA group has recently been formed; perhaps there is such a group in your community. 

Welcome,
Jan

 
 
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Skipshot
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Joined  20-10-2006
 
 
 
05 July 2017 07:54
 

I guess I won’t be seeing you on the “What are you drinking now?” thread.  If you are looking for help, this place is of the cathartic sort, so go ahead and spill your guts out if that is what you feel you need.

Welcome aboard.

 
Mr Wayne
 
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Mr Wayne
Total Posts:  761
Joined  01-10-2014
 
 
 
05 July 2017 09:29
 

David, welcome to the forum.
You are talented and smart.
Do you do any writing?

 
 
SkepticX
 
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SkepticX
Total Posts:  14817
Joined  24-12-2004
 
 
 
05 July 2017 10:29
 
David T - 04 July 2017 06:42 PM

Hello. 
Not sure what to say here, but I came across Waking Up a couple of months ago, and at that time I had been out of work since late last year, the relationship I had with my wife and children was strained, I was depressed and drinking too much.  Oh, and I was overweight and the least fit I can remember being.

Even though I have 4 degrees, including a Master’s, I felt stupid.
Even though I can rebuild an engine, build decking and do landscaping; or develop a stakeholder engagement plan for a complex NGO, sell motorcycles and cook a curry etc; I felt useless,
Even though I’m a father, a brother, a husband and a friend; I felt unwanted.

When you’re in that state, it’s bloody difficult to make the changes that will take you back to normal, and found that even reading was hard work, so I started listening to podcasts, and along the way found Waking Up. I felt like I was listening to someone who not only made sense, but made sense to me personally, and when he talked about mindfulness and meditation, it no longer felt like something I “should do” (like ride a bicycle or eat vegan food), but that I was getting good advice.

And it has been.


Good to “hear” man!

All that’s in the contract (being born into humanity). Both sides of it (i.e. we need to be prepared to help others when life get too “lifey” as one of my favorite people likes to say). Really good to hear when things are coming out of that sort of situation and start working out.

Keep it up, and thanks for the note!

Keep after me and I’ll see what my wife has to say about alternatives (like Rational Recovery). She’s an addiction specialist—MD type. You may need to keep after, though, me because my right now we’re cut off from the rest of the world when we’re not at work (the interweb escaped our house—working on getting it back, but we’re with Windstream, and they seriously suck), so I may not be able to get on this kinda thing until that’s resolved.

[ Edited: 05 July 2017 10:35 by SkepticX]