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The ‘WHAT IF’ department

 
unsmoked
 
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unsmoked
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23 August 2018 12:57
 

If I made an big-budget movie about Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, I would invent a scene in which he hires his laundress to pose for a painting.  Claudette is a red-haired, fiery-tempered girl who is fed up with menial labor and wants to be a dancer at the Moulin Rouge.  When the painting is completed and Lautrec is paying her, she asks if he will recommend her to the choreographer at the famous nightclub where Henri is a regular.  In a kindly manner, he tells her that he thinks she is too nice a girl for such work.  In a pique, Claudette seizes the painting of herself from the easel, throws it on the floor and stamps her foot through it, picks it up and tears it to pieces.  “Miserable petit homme!”

Since that never happened, a few years ago Lautrec’s painting sold at auction for $22,400,000.

(In the cutting room, the editors title that scene, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKyh4zKkths

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Blanchisseuse_(Toulouse-Lautrec)

 
 
Skipshot
 
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Skipshot
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23 August 2018 13:51
 

At a party a group of us pondered the question, “If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?”  An outspoken woman immediately shouted, “Pee!  I want to pee standing up!”

 
Jan_CAN
 
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Jan_CAN
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23 August 2018 14:31
 
Skipshot - 23 August 2018 01:51 PM

At a party a group of us pondered the question, “If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?”  An outspoken woman immediately shouted, “Pee!  I want to pee standing up!”

I just have to ask (but may be sorry) ... what was your answer to this question?

 
 
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Skipshot
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23 August 2018 15:24
 
Jan_CAN - 23 August 2018 02:31 PM
Skipshot - 23 August 2018 01:51 PM

At a party a group of us pondered the question, “If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?”  An outspoken woman immediately shouted, “Pee!  I want to pee standing up!”

I just have to ask (but may be sorry) ... what was your answer to this question?

I thought better of offering my answer in my comment above because it will ruin my reputation as a staid and respectable member of the forum, but since you asked. . .  I would have been the biggest slut on campus.

 
Jan_CAN
 
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Jan_CAN
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23 August 2018 16:37
 
Skipshot - 23 August 2018 03:24 PM
Jan_CAN - 23 August 2018 02:31 PM
Skipshot - 23 August 2018 01:51 PM

At a party a group of us pondered the question, “If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?”  An outspoken woman immediately shouted, “Pee!  I want to pee standing up!”

I just have to ask (but may be sorry) ... what was your answer to this question?

I thought better of offering my answer in my comment above because it will ruin my reputation as a staid and respectable member of the forum, but since you asked. . .  I would have been the biggest slut on campus.

I kinda thought your answer might be along these lines (which may make you wonder just a tad about your ‘staid’ reputation).

Now, if I was to answer that question, I would’ve said something sensible like doing a bunch of push-ups to see what it feels like doing them without agony.
(Or going around on a hot day without wearing a shirt; every man should have to wear a bra for a day to know how uncomfortable it is.)

 

 
 
LadyJane
 
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LadyJane
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23 August 2018 17:33
 
Skipshot - 23 August 2018 03:24 PM
Jan_CAN - 23 August 2018 02:31 PM
Skipshot - 23 August 2018 01:51 PM

At a party a group of us pondered the question, “If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?”  An outspoken woman immediately shouted, “Pee!  I want to pee standing up!”

I just have to ask (but may be sorry) ... what was your answer to this question?

I thought better of offering my answer in my comment above because it will ruin my reputation as a staid and respectable member of the forum, but since you asked. . .  I would have been the biggest slut on campus.

And, as a slut, would you be banging members of the opposite sex?

Also, unless this is a time travel question, wouldn’t you still be middle aged…attempting to seduce college students?

 
 
hannahtoo
 
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hannahtoo
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23 August 2018 19:23
 

What if I were tall and strong?  I watch big young men pick up heavy ladders or pound in rebar with a few hits, and I think, wouldn’t that be awesome?  (I’m a 5 foot 3, 105-pound weakling.)

 
Skipshot
 
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Skipshot
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23 August 2018 20:38
 
LadyJane - 23 August 2018 05:33 PM
Skipshot - 23 August 2018 03:24 PM
Jan_CAN - 23 August 2018 02:31 PM
Skipshot - 23 August 2018 01:51 PM

At a party a group of us pondered the question, “If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?”  An outspoken woman immediately shouted, “Pee!  I want to pee standing up!”

I just have to ask (but may be sorry) ... what was your answer to this question?

I thought better of offering my answer in my comment above because it will ruin my reputation as a staid and respectable member of the forum, but since you asked. . .  I would have been the biggest slut on campus.

And, as a slut, would you be banging members of the opposite sex?

Yep.

LadyJane - 23 August 2018 05:33 PM

Also, unless this is a time travel question, wouldn’t you still be middle aged…attempting to seduce college students?

Let’s leave realism and rationality out of this.  In my fantasy, I’d be young and hot.  And maybe black, because as the saying goes, once you go black you’re gonna need a wheelchair.

 
ubique13
 
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ubique13
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24 August 2018 10:51
 
Skipshot - 23 August 2018 08:38 PM
LadyJane - 23 August 2018 05:33 PM
Skipshot - 23 August 2018 03:24 PM
Jan_CAN - 23 August 2018 02:31 PM
Skipshot - 23 August 2018 01:51 PM

At a party a group of us pondered the question, “If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?”  An outspoken woman immediately shouted, “Pee!  I want to pee standing up!”

I just have to ask (but may be sorry) ... what was your answer to this question?

I thought better of offering my answer in my comment above because it will ruin my reputation as a staid and respectable member of the forum, but since you asked. . .  I would have been the biggest slut on campus.

And, as a slut, would you be banging members of the opposite sex?

Yep.

LadyJane - 23 August 2018 05:33 PM

Also, unless this is a time travel question, wouldn’t you still be middle aged…attempting to seduce college students?

Let’s leave realism and rationality out of this.  In my fantasy, I’d be young and hot.  And maybe black, because as the saying goes, once you go black you’re gonna need a wheelchair.

Way to ‘Walk on the Wild Side’, Skip. Much respect.

Personally, assuming that these hypotheticals extend to the physically impossible, I’d become Doctor Manhattan from ‘The Watchmen’. The rest of the plan would unfold from there, I suspect.

 
 
EN
 
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EN
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24 August 2018 11:29
 

If every woman knew what it was like to have a raging erection, I think they would have more sympathy for us.

Meh, maybe not.

 
hannahtoo
 
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hannahtoo
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24 August 2018 11:33
 

What if everyone’s nose really did get longer when they lied?  Or maybe a finger fell off each time?

 
Jan_CAN
 
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Jan_CAN
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24 August 2018 11:48
 
EN - 24 August 2018 11:29 AM

If every woman knew what it was like to have a raging erection, I think they would have more sympathy for us.

Meh, maybe not.

Heh, empathy has it’s limits ... women have been ‘curing’ this ‘condition’ since the dawn of time - ain’t that enough?

 
 
Nhoj Morley
 
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Nhoj Morley
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24 August 2018 12:04
 
Jan_CAN - 24 August 2018 11:48 AM
EN - 24 August 2018 11:29 AM

If every woman knew what it was like to have a raging erection, I think they would have more sympathy for us.

Meh, maybe not.

Heh, empathy has it’s limits ... women have been ‘curing’ this ‘condition’ since the dawn of time - ain’t that enough?

Not half as much as we have. We need more help.

 
 
Skipshot
 
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Skipshot
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24 August 2018 12:08
 
Nhoj Morley - 24 August 2018 12:04 PM
Jan_CAN - 24 August 2018 11:48 AM
EN - 24 August 2018 11:29 AM

If every woman knew what it was like to have a raging erection, I think they would have more sympathy for us.

Meh, maybe not.

Heh, empathy has it’s limits ... women have been ‘curing’ this ‘condition’ since the dawn of time - ain’t that enough?

Not half as much as we have. We need more help.

Which is why there are times I wish I was gay, because men are much more empathetic to the condition.

 
Jan_CAN
 
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Jan_CAN
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24 August 2018 12:18
 
Skipshot - 24 August 2018 12:08 PM
Nhoj Morley - 24 August 2018 12:04 PM
Jan_CAN - 24 August 2018 11:48 AM
EN - 24 August 2018 11:29 AM

If every woman knew what it was like to have a raging erection, I think they would have more sympathy for us.

Meh, maybe not.

Heh, empathy has it’s limits ... women have been ‘curing’ this ‘condition’ since the dawn of time - ain’t that enough?

Not half as much as we have. We need more help.

Which is why there are times I wish I was gay, because men are much more empathetic to the condition.

Ahh ... poor dears [:sigh:]  (Is that better?)

 
 
EN
 
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EN
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24 August 2018 12:24
 
hannahtoo - 24 August 2018 11:33 AM

What if everyone’s nose really did get longer when they lied?  Or maybe a finger fell off each time?

I would make Pinocchio look normal. And I would have grown up without any fingers.

 
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