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Folks with Delusions or Delusional Folks- What is the Best Strategy?

 
GAD
 
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GAD
Total Posts:  17892
Joined  15-02-2008
 
 
 
25 December 2018 09:45
 
hannahtoo - 25 December 2018 07:24 AM
nonverbal - 25 December 2018 07:04 AM
hannahtoo, to LadyJane - 24 December 2018 02:27 PM

When someone who is usually lighthearted suddenly comes across aggressively, I tend to think they may have had a really bad day, or a wee bit too much to drink.  Especially when the comments include uncharacteristic misspellings.

It’s hard for me to reply without rancor when I’ve been personally insulted.  Maybe I’ll get used to insults, the way I got used to killing spiders, changing dirty diapers, and scraping ice off the windshield on a frigid night.  Something adults just need to do.

Or maybe I could use Reagan’s choice debate reply, “Oh there you go again, (insert name of person who insulted me).”

I think it’s a good idea to assume that some degree of either intoxication/tipsiness, or pain/frustration is behind such posts, Hannah, as such an assumption helps one deal with such comments, and perhaps even smile upon reading them. For instance, I tend to laugh a little when I see a misspelling, just because the Internet eats misspellings for lunch, doesn’t it?

Yes.  That’s how I was thinking.

Of course it is.

 
 
proximacentauri
 
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proximacentauri
Total Posts:  338
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26 December 2018 10:10
 
nonverbal - 25 December 2018 07:04 AM
hannahtoo, to LadyJane - 24 December 2018 02:27 PM

When someone who is usually lighthearted suddenly comes across aggressively, I tend to think they may have had a really bad day, or a wee bit too much to drink.  Especially when the comments include uncharacteristic misspellings.

It’s hard for me to reply without rancor when I’ve been personally insulted.  Maybe I’ll get used to insults, the way I got used to killing spiders, changing dirty diapers, and scraping ice off the windshield on a frigid night.  Something adults just need to do.

Or maybe I could use Reagan’s choice debate reply, “Oh there you go again, (insert name of person who insulted me).”

I think it’s a good idea to assume that some degree of either intoxication/tipsiness, or pain/frustration is behind such posts, Hannah, as such an assumption helps one deal with such comments, and perhaps even smile upon reading them. For instance, I tend to laugh a little when I see a misspelling, just because the Internet eats misspellings for lunch, doesn’t it?

On the other hand, making up negative narratives about the poster seems immature. Harsh responses, or ones that appear harsh, are to be expected when posting on the internet. Nothing should be assumed about the poster.

 
nonverbal
 
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nonverbal
Total Posts:  1896
Joined  31-10-2015
 
 
 
26 December 2018 10:32
 
proximacentauri - 26 December 2018 10:10 AM
nonverbal - 25 December 2018 07:04 AM
hannahtoo, to LadyJane - 24 December 2018 02:27 PM

When someone who is usually lighthearted suddenly comes across aggressively, I tend to think they may have had a really bad day, or a wee bit too much to drink.  Especially when the comments include uncharacteristic misspellings.

It’s hard for me to reply without rancor when I’ve been personally insulted.  Maybe I’ll get used to insults, the way I got used to killing spiders, changing dirty diapers, and scraping ice off the windshield on a frigid night.  Something adults just need to do.

Or maybe I could use Reagan’s choice debate reply, “Oh there you go again, (insert name of person who insulted me).”

I think it’s a good idea to assume that some degree of either intoxication/tipsiness, or pain/frustration is behind such posts, Hannah, as such an assumption helps one deal with such comments, and perhaps even smile upon reading them. For instance, I tend to laugh a little when I see a misspelling, just because the Internet eats misspellings for lunch, doesn’t it?

On the other hand, making up negative narratives about the poster seems immature. Harsh responses, or ones that appear harsh, are to be expected when posting on the internet. Nothing should be assumed about the poster.

Your mother wears combat boots! (Just kidding. I don’t disagree with you.)

 
 
hannahtoo
 
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hannahtoo
Total Posts:  7176
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26 December 2018 11:27
 
proximacentauri - 26 December 2018 10:10 AM
nonverbal - 25 December 2018 07:04 AM
hannahtoo, to LadyJane - 24 December 2018 02:27 PM

When someone who is usually lighthearted suddenly comes across aggressively, I tend to think they may have had a really bad day, or a wee bit too much to drink.  Especially when the comments include uncharacteristic misspellings.

It’s hard for me to reply without rancor when I’ve been personally insulted.  Maybe I’ll get used to insults, the way I got used to killing spiders, changing dirty diapers, and scraping ice off the windshield on a frigid night.  Something adults just need to do.

Or maybe I could use Reagan’s choice debate reply, “Oh there you go again, (insert name of person who insulted me).”

I think it’s a good idea to assume that some degree of either intoxication/tipsiness, or pain/frustration is behind such posts, Hannah, as such an assumption helps one deal with such comments, and perhaps even smile upon reading them. For instance, I tend to laugh a little when I see a misspelling, just because the Internet eats misspellings for lunch, doesn’t it?

On the other hand, making up negative narratives about the poster seems immature. Harsh responses, or ones that appear harsh, are to be expected when posting on the internet. Nothing should be assumed about the poster.

I don’t consider it a “negative narrative” to think someone had a few drinks or a bad day.  Ironically, this is your projection on me!  I consider those circumstances are no big deal, and apply to most of us here on occasion.  Some might consider my words as giving the person the benefit of the doubt.  That is, versus thinking they just are a harsh person.  Or maybe they just default to insults as an easy reply.  Probably I just piss some people off in a major way. 

As to the point that harshness is to be expected on the internet, I thought the title of the OP was searching for the best strategy.  I don’t think that harshness is the best strategy.

[ Edited: 26 December 2018 11:30 by hannahtoo]
 
GAD
 
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GAD
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26 December 2018 12:16
 
hannahtoo - 26 December 2018 11:27 AM
proximacentauri - 26 December 2018 10:10 AM
nonverbal - 25 December 2018 07:04 AM
hannahtoo, to LadyJane - 24 December 2018 02:27 PM

When someone who is usually lighthearted suddenly comes across aggressively, I tend to think they may have had a really bad day, or a wee bit too much to drink.  Especially when the comments include uncharacteristic misspellings.

It’s hard for me to reply without rancor when I’ve been personally insulted.  Maybe I’ll get used to insults, the way I got used to killing spiders, changing dirty diapers, and scraping ice off the windshield on a frigid night.  Something adults just need to do.

Or maybe I could use Reagan’s choice debate reply, “Oh there you go again, (insert name of person who insulted me).”

I think it’s a good idea to assume that some degree of either intoxication/tipsiness, or pain/frustration is behind such posts, Hannah, as such an assumption helps one deal with such comments, and perhaps even smile upon reading them. For instance, I tend to laugh a little when I see a misspelling, just because the Internet eats misspellings for lunch, doesn’t it?

On the other hand, making up negative narratives about the poster seems immature. Harsh responses, or ones that appear harsh, are to be expected when posting on the internet. Nothing should be assumed about the poster.

I don’t consider it a “negative narrative” to think someone had a few drinks or a bad day.  Ironically, this is your projection on me!  I consider those circumstances are no big deal, and apply to most of us here on occasion.  Some might consider my words as giving the person the benefit of the doubt.  That is, versus thinking they just are a harsh person.  Or maybe they just default to insults as an easy reply.  Probably I just piss some people off in a major way. 

As to the point that harshness is to be expected on the internet, I thought the title of the OP was searching for the best strategy.  I don’t think that harshness is the best strategy.

Oh yeah, double down, cuz that is always the best choice.

 
 
nonverbal
 
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nonverbal
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Joined  31-10-2015
 
 
 
26 December 2018 14:10
 
hannahtoo - 26 December 2018 11:27 AM

I don’t consider it a “negative narrative” to think someone had a few drinks or a bad day.  Ironically, this is your projection on me!  I consider those circumstances are no big deal, and apply to most of us here on occasion.  Some might consider my words as giving the person the benefit of the doubt.  That is, versus thinking they just are a harsh person.  Or maybe they just default to insults as an easy reply.  Probably I just piss some people off in a major way. 

As to the point that harshness is to be expected on the internet, I thought the title of the OP was searching for the best strategy.  I don’t think that harshness is the best strategy.

For the record, I don’t disagree with the approach you offered yesterday either, Hannah. And your aunt wears combat boots!

 
 
proximacentauri
 
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proximacentauri
Total Posts:  338
Joined  07-02-2017
 
 
 
30 December 2018 19:20
 
hannahtoo - 26 December 2018 11:27 AM
proximacentauri - 26 December 2018 10:10 AM
nonverbal - 25 December 2018 07:04 AM
hannahtoo, to LadyJane - 24 December 2018 02:27 PM

When someone who is usually lighthearted suddenly comes across aggressively, I tend to think they may have had a really bad day, or a wee bit too much to drink.  Especially when the comments include uncharacteristic misspellings.

It’s hard for me to reply without rancor when I’ve been personally insulted.  Maybe I’ll get used to insults, the way I got used to killing spiders, changing dirty diapers, and scraping ice off the windshield on a frigid night.  Something adults just need to do.

Or maybe I could use Reagan’s choice debate reply, “Oh there you go again, (insert name of person who insulted me).”

I think it’s a good idea to assume that some degree of either intoxication/tipsiness, or pain/frustration is behind such posts, Hannah, as such an assumption helps one deal with such comments, and perhaps even smile upon reading them. For instance, I tend to laugh a little when I see a misspelling, just because the Internet eats misspellings for lunch, doesn’t it?

On the other hand, making up negative narratives about the poster seems immature. Harsh responses, or ones that appear harsh, are to be expected when posting on the internet. Nothing should be assumed about the poster.

I don’t consider it a “negative narrative” to think someone had a few drinks or a bad day.  Ironically, this is your projection on me!  I consider those circumstances are no big deal, and apply to most of us here on occasion.  Some might consider my words as giving the person the benefit of the doubt.  That is, versus thinking they just are a harsh person.  Or maybe they just default to insults as an easy reply.  Probably I just piss some people off in a major way. 

As to the point that harshness is to be expected on the internet, I thought the title of the OP was searching for the best strategy.  I don’t think that harshness is the best strategy.

I agree that harsh statements at the outset is not the best strategy and usually ends in a truncated discussion, which is in part what I think the OP is arguing against. That said, being oversensitive is not conducive to continued exploration of a topic either. And neither is blatant condescension which is bound to set off retaliatory condescension .

I know I’ve been as guilty as the next person of some of these ‘sins’, but I would much rather engage in a reasoned civil discussion. Like most of us I’m still working on maintaining my discipline in that regard. On the other hand, perhaps we shouldn’t be trying too hard not to occasionally offend another patron either, because it’s going to happen anyway no matter how much one tries to avoid it . I would prefer that arguments are presented plainly rather than tip-toeing around or burying the point in innuendo and verbosity. And I think they can be without appearing to be too blunt, but it’s sometimes a fine line.

 

 
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