Saralynn Moves to Florida!

 
saralynn
 
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saralynn
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30 December 2018 19:54
 

I know you have all probably been despondent because I haven’t been posting for a while, but, I have been writing on FB about my Florida adventures and thought I would cut and paste my entries here because it is easy and I need something to do.  This post may be a bit long and a bit tedious or not worth reading, but please insult me because it might be the most exciting event in my day.


SLIP-SLIDING AWAY I :
Due to popular demand, i.e. “How do you like Florida?” I shall offer my first impressions. Very pleasant, but, thus far, boring neighbors. For all I know, they may think the same thing about me, except I talk about my cat instead of my children. They are extremely friendly. It is almost creepy….sort of like a granny version of the Stepford Wives. (look it up, young’uns) I suspect they are very conservative because of all the flags standing proudly in the yards. . One notable neighbor has a Confederate flag draped over the front of his roof. I got a quick glimpse of him and he looks like Moses in The Ten Commandments (Look it up, young’uns) He was sitting on his steps, either whittling or cleaning his gun. This morning, I woke up and found about 1000 ants swarming over my cat’s food bowl and another 1000 trying to lift the bowl and carry it away. I am not sure where they intended to go with it, but I assume it was someplace dark and damp,like, perhaps, a kitchen cabinet.
My stupid cat stared at them slack-jawed instead of eating them. Despite all these challenges, I like Florida. I mean there’s worse things in the world than having smiling people waving enthusiastically at you as you walk down the street. By the way, my sister Sally told me that two of her neighbors got into a huge fight because one nonchalantly spit on the other’s driveway. I must remind myself not to do this.


Skip-Sliding Away II

I went for a walk and am feeling very cheerful this morning in Florida. Actually, “pious” is a better word. Not the haughty pious, but a mood more like Wordsworth’s “I wandered lonely as a cloud and bumped into a bunch of ****ing daffodils which made my heart sing” kind of piety.
As usual, I became lost because the streets are horizontal and vertical and all the houses look the same. They are various shades of pastel and have a palm tree in front of them.
Actually, I am fond of many of these houses (except the guy with the Confederate flag) because they are adorned with flamingos or even statues of Mother Mary, which remind me of my granny. Well, that’s not true, but they remind me of some of my friend’s grannies, many of whom were Catholic. I think my own granny may have had a statue of a black guy holding a lantern because in those days, they were popular among oblivious racists
The baby-boomers, of course, are too cool to display such items on their lawns, but at least they don’t have peace signs or smiley faces.
As we pass each other, we smile, and I take a quick glance into the faces that are embedded in their faces (you gotta be sorta old to understand that experience) and try to imagine what they looked like when they were young and laughing and shoving flowers up each others noses.
Of course, many of them were probably more sensible young people who were bikers,or bland students or steelworkers who were cursing and shoving fists up our noses. Well, I shouldn’t say “our” noses because I was always in the back of the mob because crowds make me nervous.
By the way, the bland students are the Floridians who are living in expensive houses with storm shutters and power generators and move north in the summer. Capitalist pigs!
Anyway, that is the past and now we share the very human experience of having our bodies fall apart.


Slip-Sliding Away III
Yesterday afternoon, in my search for excitement, I strolled over to the “Club House” to check it out.. It looked like a Nuclear Winter. The park was vacant, the tennis courts unused, no one was playing bocci ball or horseshoes or Hide and Seek. However, when I entered, the restaurant, the joint was hopping. Everyone was chatting and laughing and chomping down their Early Bird Specials. I know I mock my fellow Seniors, but it might be jealousy. There are a lot of geezers and geezettes way older than me zipping around on their three-wheelers much faster than I ever could. Me? I am joining “Gentle Yoga” class that takes place in a heated pool.

 

 
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Skipshot
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30 December 2018 21:38
 

More excitement at the retirement home:  https://youtu.be/9MhuKdsKFsE

Thanks for the update, Que Sara, Sara.

 
burt
 
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burt
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30 December 2018 21:49
 

This sounds like one of my cousins who is living in Sun City West, west of Phoenix. May you enjoy decrepitude with grace, sitting with a Tequila Sunrise as you watch the Florida sun set.

 
saralynn
 
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saralynn
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31 December 2018 07:01
 
Skipshot - 30 December 2018 09:38 PM

More excitement at the retirement home:  https://youtu.be/9MhuKdsKFsE

Thanks for the update, Que Sara, Sara.

Hilarious!

 
saralynn
 
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saralynn
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31 December 2018 07:04
 
burt - 30 December 2018 09:49 PM

This sounds like one of my cousins who is living in Sun City West, west of Phoenix. May you enjoy decrepitude with grace, sitting with a Tequila Sunrise as you watch the Florida sun set.

I keep pretending that I went to Tahiti with Gauguin, except that there are no beautiful bare breasted women, which is a relief for me. Lately, he has been focusing on ants and palm trees.

 
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hannahtoo
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31 December 2018 08:52
 

Fun to hear from you, Saralynn.  You are smart to embrace the senior phase of your life with a move to a milder clime and with good humor intact.  In my experience, seniors who insist on staying in the home where they lived their young life often become isolated and lonely and an accident ready to happen.  My poor mom and her manfriend stayed in their big city apartment until he couldn’t walk and she couldn’t think.  Mom is now in dementia care, and she can’t remember where she is or what is going on.  On good days, she believes the facility is a fancy apartment building and she’s the manager.

I also think it can be energizing to go to live somewhere very different.  Or maybe just challenging?  I think you should learn to drive a golf cart, if you haven’t already.  Maybe bone up on Spanish and find a Cuban restaurant.  Join the Audubon society and take field trips to seek out different types of shore birds.  Can you plant a banana tree in your yard?  (My sister had one in L.A.)  Or maybe avocado or fig? 

If I were old and needed a caretaker, I’d want to find someone like you.

Personally, my hubby and I are thinking of trading our long-term suburban home in Rocky Mountains for an urban spot in the NW.  Goodbye to a dry clime with thin air, and hello to wet and green.  Trading sun hats and snow beanies for rain hats.  Trading backyard wildlife for a vegetable garden.  Right now, literally, the grass looks greener on the other side.  Already, our mountain climbing days are over, and our skiing days are numbered.  I told my hubby that, if we don’t like the change, we can move again in a few years.  Maybe store our stuff and become nomads in our over-cab camper, until we find our Eden.  I’m hoping we’ve got another 15 years until we seriously start to fall apart.

 
burt
 
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burt
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31 December 2018 10:14
 

Saralynn, here is a recommendation for any housework that you might find it necessary to do. Came across it looking through some old letters of my moms. This one must have been written in the early 50s, to one of my aunts who had given my mom one of those timers. (Note that this particular aunt did very little house work, her home was always a chaotic jumble): “Dear————, I"ve found a wonderful way to use that timer you gave me while cleaning house. I will decide on a certain time for each room, set it, and work in that room until the bell rings, then move on to the next room. My next door neighbor was visiting the other day and was quite shocked when, as I was washing dishes, the timer rang and I put down a half washed dish and moved on to the living room. I may be going nuts but am having fun.”