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Does testosterone affect the ability to answer simple questions in full sentences?

 
Jan_CAN
 
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Jan_CAN
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12 February 2019 08:49
 

What is it with men anyway?  You ask them a question requiring just a bit of information, and you get ‘okay’, ‘fine’, or ‘sure’.  Agreeable is nice but doesn’t tell you much.  So you have to ask five more questions just to get some basic information.  (Unless of course you ask them something for which they don’t know the answer, in which case you get a long diluted answer rather than ‘I don’t know’.)  It’s like pulling teeth to find out how they’re feeling or what’s going on, even when it’s about concern for them.  What’s up with that?  I’ve lived with such a dear creature for several decades and still haven’t figured it out.

 
 
LadyJane
 
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LadyJane
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12 February 2019 09:08
 

There’s about as much active testosterone at this forum as Charlton Heston’s dead testicles.

 
 
Jan_CAN
 
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Jan_CAN
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12 February 2019 09:17
 
LadyJane - 12 February 2019 09:08 AM

There’s about as much active testosterone at this forum as Charlton Heston’s dead testicles.

LOL
(Perhaps then they’ll be better able to answer.)

 
 
GAD
 
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GAD
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12 February 2019 09:21
 

We know it’s a trap and learn early in life to keep our cake holes shut.

 
 
Jan_CAN
 
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12 February 2019 09:36
 
GAD - 12 February 2019 09:21 AM

We know it’s a trap and learn early in life to keep our cake holes shut.

But it depends on the question.  Yeah, if the question is ‘How do I look in this dress?’ or ‘Do you like my new hairstyle?’, there is only one correct answer and your survival may depend on answering correctly.  However, what if her question is ‘How’re you feeling?

I’ve found answers do often come with several specific questions, but not with generalities.  (I’m not talking only about husbands.)  I think it might have something to do with men not wanting to complain (except when suffering from the common cold) and/or reluctance to appear vulnerable, but I’m not sure.

[ Edited: 12 February 2019 10:16 by Jan_CAN]
 
 
nonverbal
 
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nonverbal
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12 February 2019 10:06
 
Jan_CAN - 12 February 2019 08:49 AM

What is it with men anyway?  You ask them a question requiring just a bit of information, and you get ‘okay’, ‘fine’, or ‘sure’.  Agreeable is nice but doesn’t tell you much.  So you have to ask five more questions just to get some basic information.  (Unless of course you ask them something for which they don’t know the answer, in which case you get a long diluted answer rather than ‘I don’t know’.)  It’s like pulling teeth to find out how they’re feeling or what’s going on, even when it’s about concern for them.  What’s up with that?  I’ve lived with such a dear creature for several decades and still haven’t figured it out.

If your topic is good, you should have no problem!
https://forum.samharris.org/forum/viewthread/71345/

 
Jan_CAN
 
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12 February 2019 10:40
 
nonverbal - 12 February 2019 10:06 AM
Jan_CAN - 12 February 2019 08:49 AM

What is it with men anyway?  You ask them a question requiring just a bit of information, and you get ‘okay’, ‘fine’, or ‘sure’.  Agreeable is nice but doesn’t tell you much.  So you have to ask five more questions just to get some basic information.  (Unless of course you ask them something for which they don’t know the answer, in which case you get a long diluted answer rather than ‘I don’t know’.)  It’s like pulling teeth to find out how they’re feeling or what’s going on, even when it’s about concern for them.  What’s up with that?  I’ve lived with such a dear creature for several decades and still haven’t figured it out.

If your topic is good, you should have no problem!
https://forum.samharris.org/forum/viewthread/71345/

Very true when talking about issues, but not so much when talking about personal feelings.  I’m thinking more of interpersonal relationships rather than online ones.  Although it happens here too.  Sometimes I think men may feel less free to express certain emotions.

 
 
EN
 
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EN
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12 February 2019 15:09
 

Is it that we talk too little, or that you talk too much?  I see myself as efficient in my use of the spoken word.  I get the point across and shut up.  Unless I’ve had a couple of shots.

 
Jan_CAN
 
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12 February 2019 16:12
 
EN - 12 February 2019 03:09 PM

Is it that we talk too little, or that you talk too much?  I see myself as efficient in my use of the spoken word.  I get the point across and shut up.  Unless I’ve had a couple of shots.

It’s that sometimes you talk too little, so we have to talk more to pry stuff out.  Maybe not you personally, but some of the you’s.  Could your efficient use of the spoken word be just a little on the overly-brief side?  When something isn’t quite right, we (me anyway) want details, but boy do we have to work for it sometimes. 

(My husband’s had a health issue, which thank god has turned out less serious than we thought it might have been.  This morning it took a cross-examination to find out exactly how he was feeling, followed by a longer discussion and a good laugh about his tendency to one-word answers.)

 

 
 
hannahtoo
 
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hannahtoo
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12 February 2019 16:26
 

I don’t know if it is culturally taught or innate, but yes, many women talk more than their husbands.  I think the innate part might have to do with how women and men mentally process.  Women, by verbalizing, and men without.  I really find value in airing ideas, hashing things out, sharing problems.  My hubby has always been (or at least appeared to be) a good listener.  But, ya know, sometimes I wonder because he’ll ask me a question about something I know I just told him recently…Then again, my hubby says he often wakes up at night thinking about this or that, and he’ll toss and turn.  So maybe it’s better to talk it over with someone during the daylight hours?

 
Jan_CAN
 
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12 February 2019 17:33
 
hannahtoo - 12 February 2019 04:26 PM

I don’t know if it is culturally taught or innate, but yes, many women talk more than their husbands.  I think the innate part might have to do with how women and men mentally process.  Women, by verbalizing, and men without.  I really find value in airing ideas, hashing things out, sharing problems.  My hubby has always been (or at least appeared to be) a good listener.  But, ya know, sometimes I wonder because he’ll ask me a question about something I know I just told him recently…Then again, my hubby says he often wakes up at night thinking about this or that, and he’ll toss and turn.  So maybe it’s better to talk it over with someone during the daylight hours?

It’s probably both – cultural and innate.  I would think though that the cultural aspect would play less of a role in a long-term relationship where trust has been established.  But that innate part, well that’s another matter.  Vive la différence and all that, but it can be frustrating at times.  I’m also (usually) a hasher-outer and think talking things out is generally helpful; perhaps it’s our job to force it a bit.  Then again, sometimes it seems that they just couldn’t be bothered verbalizing their thoughts/feelings and just expect you to read their minds.  Unless you ask him a question about hockey, or football, or golf, or baseball ... at which point the length of the answer may cause you to regret asking.

 
 
GAD
 
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12 February 2019 18:24
 
Jan_CAN - 12 February 2019 04:12 PM
EN - 12 February 2019 03:09 PM

Is it that we talk too little, or that you talk too much?  I see myself as efficient in my use of the spoken word.  I get the point across and shut up.  Unless I’ve had a couple of shots.

It’s that sometimes you talk too little, so we have to talk more to pry stuff out.  Maybe not you personally, but some of the you’s.  Could your efficient use of the spoken word be just a little on the overly-brief side?  When something isn’t quite right, we (me anyway) want details, but boy do we have to work for it sometimes. 

(My husband’s had a health issue, which thank god has turned out less serious than we thought it might have been.  This morning it took a cross-examination to find out exactly how he was feeling, followed by a longer discussion and a good laugh about his tendency to one-word answers.)

He’s smart.

 
 
icehorse
 
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12 February 2019 18:26
 

As I recall, girls gain linguistic skills earlier than boys do. Perhaps there is some carry over into adulthood?

 
 
GAD
 
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12 February 2019 18:27
 
hannahtoo - 12 February 2019 04:26 PM

I don’t know if it is culturally taught or innate, but yes, many women talk more than their husbands.  I think the innate part might have to do with how women and men mentally process.  Women, by verbalizing, and men without.  I really find value in airing ideas, hashing things out, sharing problems.  My hubby has always been (or at least appeared to be) a good listener.  But, ya know, sometimes I wonder because he’ll ask me a question about something I know I just told him recently…Then again, my hubby says he often wakes up at night thinking about this or that, and he’ll toss and turn.  So maybe it’s better to talk it over with someone during the daylight hours?

Women like talking about stuff you can’t control or do anything about, that has little value to men.

 
 
Jan_CAN
 
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12 February 2019 18:56
 
icehorse - 12 February 2019 06:26 PM

As I recall, girls gain linguistic skills earlier than boys do. Perhaps there is some carry over into adulthood?

If this is very early in childhood, perhaps that’s an indication of innate differences between boys and girls.  Which I guess would affect how both relate to others.

 
 
Cheshire Cat
 
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12 February 2019 23:50
 

Men and women are very different beings in many ways.

I think women need to verbally vent, to re-experience emotions that they felt during certain situations, to talk through what’s bothering them, even though, as GAD has suggested, there may be no solution to the problem. Women, from my observation, seem strongly driven to express themselves verbally and emotionally and in great detail. I guess it must cathartic.

I can’t speak for all males. But with me, personally, I don’t want to talk about something that’s bothering me, until I’m ready to talk about it. I don’t want the third degree. If I’m silent and brooding, let me be. Be patient. Whatever I’m feeling and thinking will resolve itself eventually. I may, or may not want to talk about it. If I do speak about it, it’s because I’m ready to talk about it. It’s pretty simple. Women tie themselves in mental knots trying to second guess what going on in our heads. It’s not that complicated. We males are basic creatures. Just give us some space to sort things out, in our own way and in our own time. That’s all.

 
 
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